Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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