Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
