Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
