She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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