me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
