I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
