But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
