Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
