you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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