The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
