Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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