I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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