Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
