woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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