I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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