If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
