sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
