And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
