she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
