Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
