my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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