So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize