Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
