my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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