just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
