we have officially lost it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize