Got a toothbrush?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
