He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
