I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
