That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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