hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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