rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
