Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
