They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
