If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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