my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
