Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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