im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
