She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize