The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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