they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
