How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The ass gains better be worth it
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