So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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