when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
