East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
