Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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