did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize