where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
