I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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