if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I forget how to act sober
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
