Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
