just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
