The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
