if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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