I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
