somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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