Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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