careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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