chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
