I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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