Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
