You really coming over, don't trick.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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