I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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