Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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