so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
