Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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