why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
