Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize