his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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