I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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