Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
