Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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