just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize